"You know ... For kids"

In one of their pioneer works, the Coen brothers created a comedy with few parallels; the Hudsucker Proxy was a film of many dimensions. Equipped with a fantastic script and cast, the main character, played brilliantly by Tim Robbins, presents a drawing of a circle. In a scene, now the stuff of cinema legend, he proclaims it his invention "you know, for kids"

That the circle turned out to be the 'hoola-hoop' is no mere anecdote, it is of great significance.

Life, for kids and parenting, used to be a simple process. I have observed many parents, many children, and I opine the following few truisms. These are at the very heart of what I find to be a problem statement;

The children of today will be more troubled by the world of tomorrow than the children of yesterday were by today's world. This will continue generation after generation. 

So, please, allow me a few pointers, which I share as a total amateur (I have no children of my own);

1. The 'Value' of money: It need not mean love of money; make them buy something on their own, with a little less money than the object in question requires. They will fall short. Do this repeatedly. They will learn of the trade value of money, and realize it can change. NEVER, and I do mean never, give them money as a present. Its about the worse incentive children can get from elders. It is what makes greedy, materialistic adults of them. It happened to us, let us not repeat the mistake.

2. Do not surround them with artificial recreations of real world objects, i.e. the multitude of toys that even middle class parents can afford. In the The 50s children played with wooden dolls, chalked out concrete games and hoola-hoops. By showing them a world of fantasy, made up of over-sized objects of misrepresentation, we are not allowing them fair and true passage into the life of adulthood. Technology that teaches is fine, a 3 foot long rail carriage adorned in pink is not. This lies (along-side money) as one of the least productive and most harmful forms of orientation. Avoid these 'material' deceptions. Let them feel and play with real world objects. Make them play with objects and concepts found in real life, nature etc. Not recreated, plastic and exaggerated versions of the same. Their own imagination will be all they will need to think BIG and think different.

2. Teach them respect for THE RIGHT THINGS not the things you feel are right within the confined parameters of your house. Teach them there is a world beyond their house, parents and siblings. Teach them to respect society at large. There is only one way to do this; overcome your own anger, and treat society, your neighbors, bad drivers and servants with respect. Your kids will learn from this. In other words, lead by example.

3. Do not expect them to love you like you love them, this is where you first teach them to be something which they are not. They do love you, but they did not give birth to you. They did not choose to come into this world, and this you cannot infuse them with. You made that choice. Making them love your sisters, brothers and your friends will make them cheats and make them live fallacious life-styles as adults.

4. Have kids when you actually have something to share, contribute, or teach. NOT because some fictitious clock seems to be ticking away at your biological core. Modern medicine allows for successful child-bearing at middle of life situations. There is no hurry. Make it a conscious, intelligent decision. Do not make it one based on 'need' but on want. Your children will always expect you to create parity for them, socio-economic or howsoever they define it. Make sure you are ready to offer that before adding to the world's population or woes.

5. Make the content of love and values the central theme of the next birthday party. This does not mean no clown, it just means no 300 guests and 200 other children along with their 1000 material presents (which are more often than not bought out of obligation)


Ultimately, I prize my simple toys of youth far more than any frills my parents may have indulged me in. And I loved my hoola-hoops.

Because the world of tomorrow will be a challenging world, bad parenting will be pivot of a dis-balance I can see brewing; from the line in the cinema to the monkey like children in the junk food eateries.

This world, it is, you know, for kids.