There is no poetry tonight; I do not have words that rhyme.....
As children, we are taught to enjoy our laughter and welcome humour. No one tells us that sadness and pain are also going to be with us; there might not be any comfort in them but they are always present. They cannot and should not be relegated within our thoughts. Like creatures of the swamp, they only grow stronger in darkness and flourish behind closed doors. They are like the plankton that thrives deep within the abyss.
A wise man once wrote that we only see the monsters we are meant to see; only fear the demons that are born of our own devices. Action creates both beauty and ugliness, words always leave a blank space between them because in that space the devil has already placed his mantra. Hatred is not a child of insanity, it is the flesh and blood of reason. Logic leads to wars, creativity leads to destruction and honour is a servant of the wicked.
We bury our darkest moments under so much falsehood that we are rendered defenseless by the beast of recall; the chambers of consciousness are slammed shut on living things, not yet dead and never meant to become ghosts. Our worst losses will not wander the castle at night, making scary noises and casting unwanted spells. These beings will wait patiently in the corners, where there is shadow during daylight. They will attack us in waking life; they do not simply go away.
I have slept with thoughts of joy only to slip into nightmares. Felt surges of pride at humanity only to be reminded of the horrors of history. We follow leaders who promise peace and prosperity while they prepare for battle and bloodshed.
Evil, true evil, only takes control when it is suppressed. There is nothing to be gained from ignorance; we need knowledge of it all. The good, the bad and the downright horrific.
I wish that, as a child, I had been taught to embrace pain and misery. Had learnt to look evil in the eye, face it with all my senses. Now I know.
I do not sleep tonight but I am not afraid. I know I will face all my terrors and be haunted and I take comfort in that thought. I will sleep with my enemy and wake up with nothing. Wish for no better and dream a silence complete. I will not try and fight that which I understand is part of my being.
I will let the sightless monster rise from the deep and burn in the light. I will accept it, for it is I and I, imperfect.
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