Ode to the Four letter word (hint: it starts with an F)

There is a word in the English language that will very rarely be dissected or praised by linguistic scholars: it is the four letter word that starts with the letter F and ends with the letter K. I shall call it “Effing” so your brain registers it to be non-offensive; besides, my mother might be reading this and I prefer only shocking her once a month.

Effing has historical roots, an undeniable social impact, and remains a the prefered way to ensure you will be censored or the Wall Street Journal may not publish your next submission. What’s in a word? Why the fuss and why the universal usage?

Effing (or Effk – see, less offensive!) is more universally understood around the world than the words Micheal Jackson and maybe even McDonalds (if one is the optimist; I like to think I live in a world where there is more swearing than there is consumption of fattening food).

The intrigue gets even more alluring when you consider how deeply apt and rejected the word remains in everyday usage. People see it as language come naked; like your best friend just took all her / his clothes off and you are shocked, even though there is nothing there you haven’t seen. Besides the word could have been put to good use: if cigarette packs had “Smoking can Effing KILL YOU!” instead of “Smoking causes this, ugly XYZ disease that will take some time before it kicks in”, we might have fewer smokers.

Why the revolt? Because parents will never accept their children using the word, this will not be like the case of other words which were once considered profanity and are now common place: Darn, Goddamit and Jesus (Effking?) Christ come to mind. Perhaps the word has a phonetic appeal to it, the U allowing for emotion upon delivery. It has endurance (no pun intended) and will continue to stand for, pretty much, only one thing.

Coming to which, I always found it curious that the word basically stands for the act of copulation; Effing is engaging in Fornication Upon Crown Knowledge (I personally am led to believe), and it is indeed strange that the intense, accentuation to the point of profanity we sometimes feel is the word for the carnal instinct as well. (People shouldn't be looked at as sex crazed animals, but there are about 7 something billion reasons why they might as well be).

I suppose it could have its roots in history: maybe when Adam was asked if the Apple of Eden (read Sex!) was worth it, he replied “Effk-ing like Hell it was!” – We are assuming here that hell being unoccupied at the time, Adam may not have known much about it; but you get my point.  

Shahbaz Ali-Khan

Montréal

June 14, 2013